Saturday, August 8, 2009

Spreading the Korean Love

The best thing happened to me the other day... Occasionally I eat at a sushi joint near my work. The ladies in there are so sweet, and love to talk to me because they are Korean too. The older woman (who looks like she's 40 and is really 55) has taken a real interest in my background and talks to me about Korea quite a bit. When I told her months ago that I intended to travel back there, she was so excited for me. Since then, she keeps trying to teach me phrases and tell me about places I should see. She also has been very informative about the culture in Korea, reassuring me that my birth mother putting me up for adoption was the best thing for me - but I already knew that :o)

Anyhow, she caught wind that I would be in Seoul by myself for a few days - and seemed very concerned about it. The next time that I came in, she kept going on and on about how worried she was about me. Finally, she broke down and gave me two numbers of her best friends in Seoul that can speak english. She told me that I should use them in case of emergency, and not to be shy... that I needed to hold on tight to the numbers and save them for my trip.

Now, the chances of me using these numbers are pretty slim to none. I know that it will be very challenging for me to get around not knowing the language, and I assume that I will cry many times - and not from the emotional experience of the trip, but from just being lost. It's happened before, and I'm sure it'll happen again... but that's part of the journey. But regardless, this touched my heart in such a way - a stranger opening her heart and family to me is such a beautiful thing. In this day and age, I don't think you hear stories like that very often.

Thank you sushi server, your kindness is such a gift!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

First Steps

I was adopted into a loving family at the age of 18 months. At the time, my parents already had my brothers, Jonathan and Hans. They were about to take in their third child, both under the age of 30! Jonathan was 2 1/2 yrs. and Hans was about to be 7yrs. I have no memories of the first years with my new family, but I'm told that I was loving around my mother - and ornery towards my brothers! We grew up with lots of love and adventures. My parents instilled the importance of family and hard work into us, and we always have had their support. Later on, like many other families, my parents split up. My mom remarried and had my younger brother Anthony. Being a mixed family, we did pretty well - and I am happy to say that we all share a strong connection with one another.

Growing up, I definitely was not interested in my heritage. I'm sure like most children, I just wanted to blend in with everyone else. My family and community was predominately "white". I had no interest in my background, because my family didn't share my heritage. I can look back now and realize that I was dealing with many issues of being multicultural. Looking Asian, but having no experiences of that heritage was hard to deal with. It wasn't until much later on in life that I got to truly relate to others who shared my same experiences.

One of those friends who was also adopted from Korea decided to go back to S. Korea and teach english to children in Busan. She loosely invited me to come visit, and it just felt like the right time. With the support from my family, my plans all seemed to come together with ease. I am now set to go back in about a month, and I cannot express how excited I am.

I will travel alone to Seoul and spend some time there exploring and touring the orphanage where I was placed. I have also began searching for my birth mother, but have no real expectations. Many times when mothers place their children into adoption, they refuse contact afterward. In Korean culture, if you have a child out of wedlock - you are basically shunned, never to marry. Even if you find someone to marry you, the husband will treat the child like crap their whole life.

I don't know a lot about my birth mother, but what I do know is that I was with her for the first year of my life. After that she placed me into adoption, and then took me back with her. She finally did take me back to be placed once again. I will always have a special place for her in my heart knowing that she was able to give me a life that I would never have had. She also had to give up her child to do so, which I cannot begin to understand what that would be like.

So, here I go... back to the Motherland! Check back for updates!