Holt

The only day that Holt (the adoption agency that I was placed) could fit me in was the day that I was leaving Korea. I had been stressed about how I was going to arrange my schedule from leaving Busan, which is a few hours away, visit Holt, and get to the airport on time. I woke up this morning with a gut feeling that if I showed up at Holt, I could at least get a small tour. I can't really describe the feelings that I had as I got onto the subway for the first time and waited for my stop to come. As each moment passed, my heart was filled with an unfamiliar emotion that was neither negative or positive.

Getting off at my stop, it took me a good 30 minutes to find the Holt Post Adoption building. It was down a small alleyway and was a bit of a wild goose chase to actually find. I was getting frustrated not knowing where I was, and knowing no one in this part of town could speak a lick of english. Then, out of nowhere I found it. My eyes welled up with tears, and my heart filled with both loss and joy. Its hard to explain, but my emotions took over and I cried for all of what I had ever hoped to find. Even though it was not meeting my birth mother, I still felt a connection of something of my past that I had never really connected with before.

As I entered the office, the women were so kind to me. I felt bad for showing up unexpected as they told me they had planned a whole afternoon with me the day that I had originally scheduled. Luckily though, I came today and it was meant to be. Ms. Ma is my case worker, and was the kindest, most gentle person I have ever met. She and only 3 others work in the Post Adoption office for Holt, and I have a feeling work very hard to help people like me. She and another woman took me out for a beautiful traditional Korean barbeque lunch filled with a million little side dishes. We sat on the floor, took our shoes off and had great conversations about American and Korean culture. It was just like 3 girlfriends getting together talking about men, politics, and food. It was the best meal of my life.

Afterwards, I was blessed to be able to hang out with some of the babies who were up for adoption. They were so cute, and it made me happy to see them each with a woman caring for them, holding and loving them. A group of ladies all came in at one point to say goodbye to a little fellow who was being adopted to the states next week. The facility was clean, but small and a little depressing. It made me want to do something to give back to Holt, and to also help out these children and single mothers that Holt is dedicated to. My hope upon my return is to find a way to help out financially for them and hopefully make a significant impact to better their facilities.