3.8 GPA

Oh yeah!!! It feels good to be done with my first quarter at UW, but it feels even better to finish it off with a 3.8! I put in a lot of hard work this quarter, and to be rewarded in the end with an overall "A" is so worth it all!

I have to brag, because I really did put in so much work - and this degree means a lot to me. I am passionate about the topics, and had a couple really wonderful professors. One in particular challenged me and pushed me to do my best. I hope to take more classes from her, she is absolutely amazing, smart and engaging.

I am really excited for the next quarter to start, although don't get me wrong--- I am fully enjoying my break! Now I can enjoy it even more knowing how I did!

UWT

So, unrelated to my adventures with Korea... I have started my 4th week at school at the University of Washington Tacoma. So far, I have been able to have my schedule all days Tuesdays and Thursdays. It has been overwhelming with the amount of work that comes with upper division classes, but at the same time, the challenges are really exciting.

My degree that I'm pursuing is Urban Studies with a minor in Environmental Studies. These topics deal with public policy, social rights, civil rights, urban planning and development. I find the program to be really awesome and engaging. I have a little less than two years to finish, so I'm trying to take in all that I can in order to fully gain every experience this program has to offer.

I am commuting this quarter down to Tacoma, although in the future I will have the opportunity to use the Bothell and Seattle campus. Right now I'm able to use the Sounder train, and I must say it is a great experience! To be able to drink some coffee, do some reading or even surf the internet instead of fighting traffic is so awesome!

Right now I am finding the balance between having a relationship, working 3 days a week, being a full-time student and getting in my hours of writing and the endless reading... oh lord the reading! It seems easy enough, but finding time to be able to truly engage in the reading is a challenge in itself.

So, I am pretty much surrendering to my education at this point and hope to at least be able to get in my yoga once a week and get out on a social level once a month. There are strange guilty feelings when I'm not spending my time with my nose in an article or paper. Don't be upset if I can't make it out for drinks and basically any fun activity. School and grants for school have me on serious lockdown. See you during the break!

BIG NEWS!!!

Yesterday I decided to write to the woman from WACAP (the adoption service that my parents used, who work with HOLT in Korea) to tell her how great my trip to Korea was as well as how much I appreciate the work that she does. I just felt it important to let her know how her services had really touched my heart, and how it changed my life.

When I got home from school, I checked my email - and the woman from WACAP had written me back. She told me that my foster mother was sad that I had to leave early because she remembered me when I was a baby and had wanted to meet me all grown up. I thought that was really cool until I got to the next line...

(Here is the email)

Hello Tami,

I’m so glad you had a good trip. Ms. Toni-ma told me that your foster mother was upset that you had to leave early. She remembered you as a baby and wished to meet you again someday.

Your birth mom called Toni-ma after receiving their telegram. She admitted being you birth mother immediately; some mothers are in denial at all times. She stated that she would be interested in corresponding with you but needed some time. "Not much, just a little bit of time" to prepare herself and children. She has already told her daughter about the you, but not to her son yet.

Your birth mother got divorced and lives with two children – one daughter (24 yrs old) and one son (20 yrs old). Recently she received an operation (do not know which part of her body) and is recovering from it now.

Holt will surely send the her letter and photos when they hear back from your birth mother again.

Good news!

Best wishes,

XXXXX

I am obviously thrilled to find out this information and cannot wait to find out more! It is hard to explain, but when you have an chunk of time in your past that you have no knowledge of - it is something that you feel is missing. Some people deal with this differently, I chose to not really deal with it, and focus on the good things in my life that I did have. But finding out just this little piece of information has filled my heart and it is all I can do to keep my energy at bay. I have a half brother and sister! My birth mother is open to connecting with me! I can find out medical history, who my father is, what exactly my heritage is... so many things.

Stay tuned!!!

Reflections on Korea

I have been back home now for 3 weeks. It took me a few days to get back on track, the jet-lag coming home was pretty brutal. I left Seoul on a Thursday at 6pm and landed in Seattle on the dame day at 12pm. It was pretty wild! I basically came home and slept for 2 days straight while Greg took extremely good care of me. He brought me food, water and let me sleep on and off all weekend long.

Some highlights of my trip included:

Getting to meet some young locals and enjoying conversation and sharing normal activities with them. You find people are just like you wherever you go, and there are slight cultural differences, but there is a comfort in being able to relate to all people no matter what background they come from.

Traveling alone... I never thought that this would allow me to reflect in such a way and give me the confidence that it did. It was scary and liberating to be able to do it on my own.

Having a friend open her life and home to me without really knowing me all that well - Jin was so generous to give her time and space to me and take care of me when I was super hungover ;o)

The food, oh God the food! Kimchi, Korean bbq, and Bi Bim Bap was amazing!

The architecture of the old temples and palaces were incredible, the detail and infrastructure was a piece of art - it is hard to comprehend the history behind it all.

Upon my arrival home, I experienced some pretty severe anxiety that was hard to deal with. I think that absorbing what the trip meant to me was a hard process that I didn't expect to experience after the trip. It wasn't that there were any negative feelings of seeing where I came from, but I did find that my emotions of realizing where I could have ended up is a tough reality. It is hard to describe what comes up from deep within, knowing how different your life could have been.

I have a new appreciation for the many opportunities that my life has allowed me to experience. My parents have always given me everything that I need: love, support, travel, and instilled the importance of free thought, work ethic and education. I cannot express enough how lucky I feel to have had the type of parents who could truly give me all of these qualities and lessons.

Busan

So I didn't have the chance to update my blog while I was in Busan, so I thought that I'd summarize... My first day there, I woke up early with Jin to visit her school. She lives a short bus ride away and a serious hike up a hill to the school. I told her that I could see how she was keeping in good shape! When we arrived to the school, all the students and teachers had to get their temperature taken in order to get into the school. Like I had mentioned before, the Koreans are very worried about the swine flu, and so this is part of that process to keep their students and staff healthy.

I was introduced to each of the classes and teachers, who were very sweet and kind. The principal was a good looking man who was pleased that I was there to see his school. I had the opportunity to sit in on Jin's classes, where I stood in front of the class as the children asked me questions... mostly ones that they knew in english, like, "where are you from", "how many siblings do you have", and "do you have a boyfriend". They were so cute and rambunctious!

The next day, I took the Busan tour bus and stopped off at a park where I was able to check out a small temple and see some views of the ocean. From there, I went to the world famous Jalachi Fish Market that was an experience in itself. It was like the fish vendors in Pike Place Market times a thousand! Fresh fish and other sea creatures everywhere and people yelling at you trying to get you to come to their station. I made my way upstairs to the raw fish restaurants, which is just an open area full of small tables. I had no idea what I ordered because the woman spoke no english, and of course I speaking no Korean - I just trusted I would have a good meal.

When the meal came, it had little snails a few things I had no idea what they were, and the largest plate of sashimi I had ever seen. I still don't know what type of fish it was, but it was fresh and delicious!

For my last day in Busan, I was feeling tired from all the sightseeing and travel that I decided to hit the beach for the day. I went to Haeundae Beach, which when in season is the most popular beach in Busan. For whatever reason, when September hits, the Koreans do not go to the beach anymore and put their pants and jeans on until the next year. So when I arrived at the beach, there were only about ten people total there and only two other people with their bathing suits on. The other two besides me were some Euro travelers, a couple who I struck up a conversation with. They were two journalists from Denmark on vacation and knew nothing about Korea prior to their trip. They had found cheap tickets and went for it. They were very kind, and it made me miss Greg so much. He has by far been the best travel partner I have ever had, and it made me want to take an adventure with him.

After the beach, I went to check out the Busan Aquarium and saw a lot of interesting fish, sharks, and some penguins. I made my way back to Jin's apartment where we made dinner plans to another beach for our last meal together. We sat at a restaurant right across the beach and at night the Busan bridge was completely lit up with different colors that changed throughout the night. We sat and had a beer and enjoyed the cool breeze from the ocean and the beautiful lights of Busan.

The travel home was so long... a taxi ride to Busan station, a 3 hour train ride to Seoul station, an hour bus ride to the airport, and then a 10 hour flight back to Seattle. I am still jet-lagged and Greg has taken such good care of me since being home. It feels so good to be home, and I intend to reflect more on my experience later. This has already quickly turned into a novel! Much love to everyone...

Jin comes to Seoul

So, my friend Jin met me in Seoul for the weekend where we were able to do a little sightseeing, eat and drink waaayy too much Soju. For those of you who don't know what Soju is, well, it's basically the devil hidden in Korean rice alcohol. We went out for dinner at a Korean BBQ joint with a few of Jin's friends. We ate pork BBQ and drank beer and Soju. The Korean guys spoke english very well, and we had a great conversation about the our different cultures. I was curious to know what sort of American music they liked, and they were super into Ne-Yo (which I thought was really strange) and liked Justin Timberlake (I mean who doesn't???), Lady GaGa, Jay-Z, and Beyonce. It was interesting because one of the guys there is a K-Pop music writer. You know, Korean pop? Pretty cool I thought, and I'll have to find out which song it is from Jin because I was sort of impressed that we were at dinner with a semi-famous Korean!

We went to a couple more bars where we drank and danced the night away. It was all a fun blur until the cab ride home where I realized vomiting was a definite in my near future. The next day I had the most wicked hangover on the 3 hour train ride to Busan. I thought I was going to die! Correction, I wanted to die... but of course like most alcohol infused binges, I did survive.

I went exploring to a market close by this afternoon, and got to buy some souvenirs. I will do some more exploring tomorrow, and am excited to venture over to the huge fish market... I'm thinking sushi!

Holt

The only day that Holt (the adoption agency that I was placed) could fit me in was the day that I was leaving Korea. I had been stressed about how I was going to arrange my schedule from leaving Busan, which is a few hours away, visit Holt, and get to the airport on time. I woke up this morning with a gut feeling that if I showed up at Holt, I could at least get a small tour. I can't really describe the feelings that I had as I got onto the subway for the first time and waited for my stop to come. As each moment passed, my heart was filled with an unfamiliar emotion that was neither negative or positive.

Getting off at my stop, it took me a good 30 minutes to find the Holt Post Adoption building. It was down a small alleyway and was a bit of a wild goose chase to actually find. I was getting frustrated not knowing where I was, and knowing no one in this part of town could speak a lick of english. Then, out of nowhere I found it. My eyes welled up with tears, and my heart filled with both loss and joy. Its hard to explain, but my emotions took over and I cried for all of what I had ever hoped to find. Even though it was not meeting my birth mother, I still felt a connection of something of my past that I had never really connected with before.

As I entered the office, the women were so kind to me. I felt bad for showing up unexpected as they told me they had planned a whole afternoon with me the day that I had originally scheduled. Luckily though, I came today and it was meant to be. Ms. Ma is my case worker, and was the kindest, most gentle person I have ever met. She and only 3 others work in the Post Adoption office for Holt, and I have a feeling work very hard to help people like me. She and another woman took me out for a beautiful traditional Korean barbeque lunch filled with a million little side dishes. We sat on the floor, took our shoes off and had great conversations about American and Korean culture. It was just like 3 girlfriends getting together talking about men, politics, and food. It was the best meal of my life.

Afterwards, I was blessed to be able to hang out with some of the babies who were up for adoption. They were so cute, and it made me happy to see them each with a woman caring for them, holding and loving them. A group of ladies all came in at one point to say goodbye to a little fellow who was being adopted to the states next week. The facility was clean, but small and a little depressing. It made me want to do something to give back to Holt, and to also help out these children and single mothers that Holt is dedicated to. My hope upon my return is to find a way to help out financially for them and hopefully make a significant impact to better their facilities.

The Eagle Has Landed

Wow, what a trip it's been today. Had a fabulous morning with Greg, drinking coffee and eating breakfast together. Got my last minute things together and off to the airport. The flight wasn't as bad as anticipated... I got to sit in a window seat that only had one other seat next to me. I took a couple of good drugs with a cocktail, and the rest is history. Turns out the flight only took 11 hours as opposed to the 13 I had originally thought. I sat next to a young Korean guy who is a student at UW. He was very informative of a couple of cultural differences as well as told me that not many people speak english.

As I got off the plane, there were few signs in english, and was handed a face mask right away. Apparently S. Korea has had 4 deaths from that damn pig flu going around. They are pretty freaked out about it, I even had to fill out a medical intake form on the plane to ensure I hadn't been sick recently. Strange, I guess I didn't think that the Pig Flu was so serious.

I managed to find the bus ticket booth where the woman spoke little to no english. Luckily I had printed out my hotel and map info, so I just handed it to her and she in turn handed me a ticket and pointed to the numbered bus stop for me to wait. The good thing about Korea is that they use the same number system like a lot of places - so if all else fails, you at least know where to stand to catch a bus and how much it costs.

The bus ride was really nice, it is the KAL limousine bus that goes directly to the popular destinations in Seoul with fewer stops. There was a t.v. on the bus and the seats were very comfortable. It took a little over an hour to get to my destination and cost about $7 US. The announcement for the bus stops were really quiet, and in my research I was told to get off at a specific stop and then walk to my hotel. This was really stressing me out, but right when I was about to jump ship and hail a cab - there was my hotel on one of the tallest buildings! I was relieved since I was super hungry and tired.

I ended up being super lame and getting food in my hotel, which turned out to be really good. Lots of Korean food, but some American options as well. I ate a lot of raw salmon, sushi rolls, meat and kimchi. Then headed to the jasmine spa that the hotel provides. Let me tell you, it was the most relaxing communal hot tub I have ever been in! First off, I was the only one in there. They have this cute area where you leave your clothes in a locker area fully equipped with hair and body products. Then they have these amazing full body showers (where they spray at every angle) and a beautiful jasmine hot tub that I melted away in.

Tomorrow I will get adventurous and seek out some of what this crazy city has to offer. So far, it reminds me of New York, and my hotel is in one of the busiest parts of the city. I am currently looking out to 8 lanes of busy traffic and neon lights everywhere.

And the countdown begins...

I'm all packed up and ready to go, but can't quite get my brain to settle down. I am currently watching The Office marathon that TBS is running while Greg is at his Fantasy Football draft. Yes, you read it correctly... I am in love with a man who is in love with football so much, that every year he creates an imaginary football team that competes with his friend's imaginary football teams via the internet. I won't even get into it - but suffice it to say that it is probably the nerdiest thing I have ever witnessed. Football is supposed to be about men, beer and testosterone floating around on a Sunday. Not a room full of men with their excel spreadsheets and laptops trying to create a perfect "team" that they "manage"... I really want to emphasize that I use these terms loosely.

Sorry, my mind wanders... but what I want to emphasize are the overjoyed feelings of love that I have received from all my friends and family for this trip. My parents, grandparents and Greg especially have given me so much support in order for me to be able to take this journey. Each step has had the helping hand of everyone, and I just want to thank my friends and family for being so wonderful and lovely. I appreciate all your encouragement and understanding preparing me for this emotional journey. I look forward to letting you all know what I see, what I find, and how I'll grow from this experience.

Spreading the Korean Love

The best thing happened to me the other day... Occasionally I eat at a sushi joint near my work. The ladies in there are so sweet, and love to talk to me because they are Korean too. The older woman (who looks like she's 40 and is really 55) has taken a real interest in my background and talks to me about Korea quite a bit. When I told her months ago that I intended to travel back there, she was so excited for me. Since then, she keeps trying to teach me phrases and tell me about places I should see. She also has been very informative about the culture in Korea, reassuring me that my birth mother putting me up for adoption was the best thing for me - but I already knew that :o)

Anyhow, she caught wind that I would be in Seoul by myself for a few days - and seemed very concerned about it. The next time that I came in, she kept going on and on about how worried she was about me. Finally, she broke down and gave me two numbers of her best friends in Seoul that can speak english. She told me that I should use them in case of emergency, and not to be shy... that I needed to hold on tight to the numbers and save them for my trip.

Now, the chances of me using these numbers are pretty slim to none. I know that it will be very challenging for me to get around not knowing the language, and I assume that I will cry many times - and not from the emotional experience of the trip, but from just being lost. It's happened before, and I'm sure it'll happen again... but that's part of the journey. But regardless, this touched my heart in such a way - a stranger opening her heart and family to me is such a beautiful thing. In this day and age, I don't think you hear stories like that very often.

Thank you sushi server, your kindness is such a gift!

First Steps

I was adopted into a loving family at the age of 18 months. At the time, my parents already had my brothers, Jonathan and Hans. They were about to take in their third child, both under the age of 30! Jonathan was 2 1/2 yrs. and Hans was about to be 7yrs. I have no memories of the first years with my new family, but I'm told that I was loving around my mother - and ornery towards my brothers! We grew up with lots of love and adventures. My parents instilled the importance of family and hard work into us, and we always have had their support. Later on, like many other families, my parents split up. My mom remarried and had my younger brother Anthony. Being a mixed family, we did pretty well - and I am happy to say that we all share a strong connection with one another.

Growing up, I definitely was not interested in my heritage. I'm sure like most children, I just wanted to blend in with everyone else. My family and community was predominately "white". I had no interest in my background, because my family didn't share my heritage. I can look back now and realize that I was dealing with many issues of being multicultural. Looking Asian, but having no experiences of that heritage was hard to deal with. It wasn't until much later on in life that I got to truly relate to others who shared my same experiences.

One of those friends who was also adopted from Korea decided to go back to S. Korea and teach english to children in Busan. She loosely invited me to come visit, and it just felt like the right time. With the support from my family, my plans all seemed to come together with ease. I am now set to go back in about a month, and I cannot express how excited I am.

I will travel alone to Seoul and spend some time there exploring and touring the orphanage where I was placed. I have also began searching for my birth mother, but have no real expectations. Many times when mothers place their children into adoption, they refuse contact afterward. In Korean culture, if you have a child out of wedlock - you are basically shunned, never to marry. Even if you find someone to marry you, the husband will treat the child like crap their whole life.

I don't know a lot about my birth mother, but what I do know is that I was with her for the first year of my life. After that she placed me into adoption, and then took me back with her. She finally did take me back to be placed once again. I will always have a special place for her in my heart knowing that she was able to give me a life that I would never have had. She also had to give up her child to do so, which I cannot begin to understand what that would be like.

So, here I go... back to the Motherland! Check back for updates!